You really coming over, don't trick.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
