I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
