I seem to have left my pride at pride
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
