Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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