I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
