yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize