He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
