i just had sex bonerless
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize