I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
