is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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