youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
