So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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