so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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