she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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