Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
