Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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