Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Terrible idea I love it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
