i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
