i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Don't EVER smell your tampon
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
