whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize