so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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