the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
