Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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