come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
