im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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