ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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