so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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