spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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