idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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