oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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