No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
