ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
