What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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