I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
