My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
