smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize