she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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