You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
