I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
