dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
