I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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