You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
