We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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