You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
