the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
