don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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