We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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