Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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