I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
