By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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