i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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