If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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