thus making me awesome and them whores
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize