Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
