Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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