I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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