wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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