I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
