U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
