I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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