He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
