my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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