We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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