Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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