I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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