So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
