Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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