Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You're my little dorito
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize