All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Houston, we have a blender
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
