How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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