he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
