R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can Purell be used as lube?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize