I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
