fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
