Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
