you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
