Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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