I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Randomize
